Just Add Vice on Relationships
Avoid Bad Resting Face
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A word problem: If Katie*, 25, wants to get married by the time she is 28 - in order to start having children before she is 30, then she cannot spend four months dating a man whom she knows is an inappropriate match.
Why?
Because Katie only has 3.5 years, or 42 months to find the man whom she is going to marry. If Katie wastes 4 months dating a man who is only visiting the U.S. for a few months and would like someone to date while he is on vacation, then Katie is wasting 10 percent of her available time to find her man.
Calculating. Yes, this way of thinking is a bit calculating, but if you know what you want, then you have to go for it and not go for the exact opposite - see previous column, "Love Quest and Deal Breakers." Katie is one step ahead of the game - she knows what she wants and she is the supreme optimist. She is like a dose of happy and she has a nice resting face to boot!
TURN OFF #1: The Bad Resting Face
If you go to a gathering - a party, a bar, a college alumni event - and sit there all night with a terrible look on your face, and then wonder why nobody talked to you or the vibe you got from every person you did talk to was weird, then maybe you should look in the mirror. Seriously. Go do it. Don't smile, don't frown. Just let your face rest. Now ask yourself, would I go out of my way to talk to me? If the answer is no and it's because you look like you ate something bad or that you think you're just too good for everyone around you when you're simply standing around, then try smiling with your eyes and slightly turn up the corners of your mouth. You won't look angry. Your face will still rest comfortably and others will be drawn to you because you will ooze a bit of happy and niceness.
My friend, Josh*, said that he thinks girls always look better when they're smiling or look like they're having fun. As he put it, "who doesn't want to talk to someone who looks nice or looks like she's having a good time?" The same goes for guys. I set my roommate up with a friend of mine from college. They're both into fitness and both like to date people who are tall. However, the date went terribly. My friend from college sat across the table from my beautiful roommate with a sour, bored look on his face as he yammered on about his current job. Even though he liked her, she definitely did not get the vibe that he was at all interested. The point is: a sweet, little smile goes a long way. It can even inspire someone to walk across the room. Try it. You might really like what happens and how you feel.
Remember the last time you heard old adage, "you get what you give?"
Coincidently TURN OFF #2: Girls who do not reach for the check, even when they know the man is going to take care of it! But that's another column...more turn ons/turn offs to follow!
Apply the adage to your relationships - new, old, or your search. If you put in something positive, then you will get positive results - if you put mud in a cake, it will probably taste like dirt. Give yourself the best shot at getting what you want and remember to smile, especially when you finally get what you wanted.
*Names have been changed.
Paige S. Morrow is the pseudonym of our mysterious relationships columnist who lurks among the student body at the Annenberg School of Journalism. Her real identity will be revealed at the end of the '09-'10 school year.
Paige, I can't have a reasonable conversation with you in person because you won't just get up the guts to publish under your real name. I would gladly buy you a cup of coffee and explain how you are so completely and utterly wrong about everything you think you know about guys. You can gain respect from me and all these other readers below by just putting your real name on your stories, unless you don't actually believe what you are writing. I believe they teach transparency in J-school, no? Oh, but you are so worried about the grammar side so you might have missed that lesson.
Hi KP. First of all, thank you for reading my column. Second, thank you for the assessment. You are right to say that I have been remiss in not highlighting the sentiments of my male readers as much as I should and I will do my best to remedy that. Third, tsk tsk! I sincerely doubt that you would make your comments in such a nasty way to me in person, at least I hope you wouldn't. Lastly, I find it ironic that you go on about grammar mistakes, but do not self-edit your comments. I do believe that self-editing is something that we are taught to do in j-school, yes?
Okay, just fyi, the lack of the line break is my fault.
Give them a break, KP.
Not everyone can pass a grammar, spelling and punctuation test on the first go.
I mean, seriously, who expects that of graduate-level journalism students?
Yes, I'm sure my life will include not editing commenters' grammar--especially when your esteemed author forgot to add a line break between "'you get what you give?' Coincidently TURN OFF #2 is:"(and a colon after a "to be" verb? Seriously, thanks for that). Although it's good to know you had nothing else to back up your roommates terrible assumptions about the male sex other than pointing out my grammar slip up (next time I'll run my comment by an editor first.)
I know ZERO men who would see an attractive female and say, "Hey, you know she makes a bad resting face. I won't try to hit on her."--If he says that he's just too big a pus to talk to her in the first place and needs some excuse to make sure his testosterone levels don't shrink to pre-menopausal female levels.
True, everyone likes people who smile, but no one--other than the truly self-absorbed and hallow-headed--constantly has a chipper look on their face. No "advice" columnist should take one friends comment about how he likes girls who smile better (gee, talk about earth shattering news) and extrapolate that into a theory that if a girl doesn't look happy constantly she won't find a guy and thus live a barren life with only her 48 cats and grammar-picky friends to console her.
KP, maybe you should work on your own word problems. Please see: "she shouldn't she." Really? Come on now. Get your degree and get a life.
A Word Problem: If Maige S. Parrow wants a job when she graduates then she shouldn't she stop writing shitty articles under a fake name about shit she has no clue about--like anything that guys are thinking at all?.....I'm guessing Forex Robot is one of your roommates, oh wait didn't you talk shit about them like 5 weeks ago?
great post as usual .. thanks .. you just gave me a few more ideas to play with
Belle, please give Paige my number, or my frown frozen by our last encounter will never thaw.
Personally, I like to scowl at parties. It helps weed out the weaklings.
As an expert practitioner of the "bad resting face," I have to say that I get just as many men approaching to tell me to "Smile! Lighten up a little!" as I would if I had sunshine coming out of my arse.
The "bad resting face" is an excellent conversation starter, really.
The last time I checked, a guy doesn't really care about the expression on your face, so long as you look like you give good blowjobs.
Are. You. Kidding. Me?
In case you're wondering... I said that with my bad resting face.