A friend of a friend of mine is on a quest for love. It's easy to tell someone looking for love to just "stop looking because once you stop, that's when you'll find it." 

I don't think it's that easy. You have to keep yourself busy and increase your own awesome factor -- see previous column, "Better Yourself for a Better Mate." In addition, however, you also have to know what you want.

When you're younger, dating anyone who looks good in a photo is mostly good enough.  Compatibility is more important, though, once you are ready to start dating a bit more seriously. Having a mental checklist of likes and dislikes that have been compiled because of experiences you had in past relationships is a must. A friend of mine has a thing about teeth -- she believes that a guy should have nice teeth. Not everyone does and for her, this is a bit of a deal breaker. She dated a guy on and off who had pretty bad teeth and it just didn't work for her. Oh, don't judge. You know you have a thing about hairy moles on your next conquest's back!  

Deal breakers are things to consider early on in a new relationship. This may sound calculating, but think about it. The number of people you come into contact with greatly diminishes once you leave college. Thus, you do need to think about expiration dates. I am not saying run out and desperately date the first semi-quality person who walks past you on your daily morning trip to your car, but I am saying think about really putting yourself out there, but do so productively -- once you know what you're looking for.  

I am way past the age when going shopping to go shopping was fun. Shopping is now fun when I find what I set out to get. If I needed/wanted a black dress for tomorrow night's cocktail party and come home with new earrings, my day wasn't exactly successful, was it?  It's the same with relationships. If I am looking for a guy who is ready to settle down in the next 2-3 years and practices the same religion as I do, AND if I start dating a guy who is a fanatic of a diametrically opposing religion and who thinks he never wants to get married, then really, I am back to square one.

Additionally, I think Internet dating is silly. I'm a bad person, I know. I did it for a month a few years ago. I went on a few dates with great guys -- guys who were nice and great...for other people. Finally, I met the current beau through a friend. I really still think that's the way to do it. Let people know that you're looking -- you're single and ready for the next relationship.  Then go out and live your life! One of my sisters is looking, but she is very clear with me about what she wants -- sorry artsy boys, she's not looking for you. I applaud her. She knows what she wants and isn't about to settle for anything less.  

Take a moment. Make sure you know yourself. Think about the last three relationships that you've had. Think about what you liked and didn't like about the people you dated, as well as the positive and negative elements about the relationship itself. Then spread the word -- WATCH OUT! You're on the prowl. And you know what you want.