Get ready for the drunkest, craziest award's ceremony. No, I'm not talking about the MTV Music Awards. These are classy, drunk people I speak of, children. I've always referred to them as The Lush Awards. To most they're called The Golden Globes. Hosted by UK's own Ricky Gervais, the GGs are the one of the few times A-list and B-list TV/movie stars are seen rubbing shoulders in broad daylight. Featuring an eclectic list of presenters such as Jennifer Aniston, NPH, Halle Berry, Matthew Fox, Nicole Kidman, Colin Farrell, Mickey Rourke, and Mel Gibson, it's sure to be a drinking game waiting to happen.

As is the case every year, I won't be there. Despite this atrocity, I do have my predictions on what will go down: the winners, the losers and the upsets. All-important hoopla, yes? Candid Disclaimer: I haven't seen all the films. I don't have time for made-for-TV movies unless they air on Lifetime and have a colon in the title. Cut me some slack. I'm a gambling woman, so I do have a pretty good feeling about who will walk away half-drunk with a trophy in their free hand.  (Should we take time to thank the powers that be Mariah Carey isn't nominated? Wowza.) Feel free to post your own winners in the comments. And if you get the most correct, you'll win...my respect, yo.

AND...remember to come back and join Neon Tommy when we liveblog the Globes!

FILM

Best Picture, Drama
Avatar
The Hurt Locker
Inglourious Basterds
Precious
Up in the Air

While "Avatar" has been getting the most recent buzz, destroying box office expectations and winning the adoration of fans and critics alike, "Up in the Air" has this in the (vomit) bag. With the most nominations at the Globes, it would be quite startling if it went to any other film, even with the hype and popularity of Tarantino's "Inglourious Basterds" and "Precious."

WILL WIN: "Up in the Air"


Best Picture, Musical/Comedy
500 Days of Summer
The Hangover
It's Complicated
Julie & Julia
Nine

I'll tell you what won't win. "The Hangover," which, by the way, shouldn't have been nominated. Really? Best Comedy? Sure, I laughed. But it'll be a cold day in L.A. if a film wins for showing a car door slam into a baby for shits and giggles. Lest not forget the writing and characters weren't anything that hasn't been done before in every boys club/Apatow brat pack film. "It's Complicated" also suffers from been there, done that, but with headliners Streep, Baldwin, and Martin, it has a chance. "Nine" was panned from the get-go, and I don't see this going to "Julie & Julia." This race will be won by the actual breakout hit of the summer ... all 500 days of it. Its sly take on the stale romcom genre certainly has life on my movie shelf.

WILL WIN: "(500) Days of Summer"


Best Actor, Drama
Jeff Bridges, Crazy Heart
George Clooney, Up in the Air
Colin Firth, A Single Man
Morgan Freeman, Invictus
Tobey Maguire, Brothers

I've heard Morgan Freeman does a spectacular portrayal of Nelson Mandela in "Invictus," while Maguire is a long shot for the supposedly underrated "Brothers." This one is between Firth and Clooney. Even though, really...Bridges should get this. This Dude is crazy amazingly beautiful in "Crazy Heart."

WILL WIN: George Clooney

Best Actress, Drama
Emily Blunt, The Young Victoria
Sandra Bullock, The Blind Side
Helen Mirren, The Last Station
Carey Mulligan, An Education
Gabourey Sidibe, Precious

I really, really want Emily Blunt to take this and run.  And then break off her engagement to J.Kras. But she won't. Neither will Sandra Bullock (although she may pull a major upset; this is definitely the best year of her career) or Helen Mirren. My solid film 411 tells me this race is between two youngins:  Carey Mulligan (Shia LaBeouf's girlfriend) and Gaby Sidibe (*NSYNC/Justin Timberlake lover).

WILL WIN: Carey Mulligan

Best Actor, Musical/Comedy
Matt Damon, The Informant!
Daniel Day-Lewis, Nine
Robert Downey, Jr., Sherlock Holmes
Joseph Gordon-Levitt, 500 Days of Summer
Michael Stuhlbarg, A Serious Man

I'm biased. I want Joseph Gordon-Levitt to win and I don't care about anyone else's performance even if they happen to be better...and they are. Sigh. Damon is my second fav in this category for "The Informant!" Don't count Stuhlbarg out, though. He may be lesser known, but his performance in "A Serious Man" has got some serious legs.  Day-Lewis surely hopes his role as manwhore Guido in "Nine" takes this category because the film sure as hell won't see the blinding reflection of any other Globe.    

WILL WIN: Matt Damon or Michael Stuhlbarg

Best Actress, Musical/Comedy
Sandra Bullock, The Proposal
Marion Cotillard, Nine
Julia Roberts, Duplicity
Meryl Streep, It's Complicated
Meryl Streep, Julie & Julia

It's Streep v. Streep. I give it to Streep.

WILL WIN: Meryl Streep for winning at life.

Best Supporting Actor
Matt Damon, Invictus
Woody Harrelson, The Messenger
Christopher Plummer, The Last Station
Stanley Tucci, The Lovely Bones
Christoph Waltz, Inglourious Basterds

I've only seen "Inglourious Basterds," so this is a no-brainer. Although Tucci scares the crap out of me every time I see a preview for "The Lovely Bones." He also reminds me of an old neighbor. Scary.

WILL WIN: Christoph Waltz, no question.

Best Supporting Actress
Penelope Cruz, Nine
Vera Farmiga, Up in the Air
Anna Kendrick, Up in the Air
Mo'Nique, Precious
Julianne Moore, A Single Man

Vera and Anna were both especially fantastic in "Up in the Air," but Mo'Nique is undeniably haunting and emotionally spent in "Precious."

WILL WIN:  Mo'Nique

Best Director
Kathryn Bigelow, The Hurt Locker
James Cameron, Avatar
Clint Eastwood, Invictus
Jason Reitman, Up in the Air
Quentin Tarantino, Inglourious Basterds

James Cameron. He's due for another pretentious, over bearing "I'm the King of the World" speech. I think they're scheduled to happen every decade or so. And I'm pretty sure he did some revolutionary stuff here, yes yes. He also spent like, 15 years on this or something.  Workaholic much?

Best Screenplay
Neill Blomkamp & Terri Tatchell, District 9
Mark Boal, The Hurt Locker
Nancy Meyers, It's Complicated
Quentin Tarantino, Inglourious Basterds
Jason Reitman & Sheldon Turner, Up in the Air

Every critic has pretty much said it and now I'll say it. It's the only film that actually resonates with people considering the economic circumstances of the last few years.

WILL WIN: "Up in the Air"

Best Animated Film
Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs
Coraline
Fantastic Mr. Fox
The Princess & The Frog
Up

I cried for the entire 1 1/2 or so hours of "Up." No lie.  Wes Anderson's "Fantastic Mr. Fox" is a lovely contender, but a Globe ain't gonna happen.

WILL WIN: "Up"

Best Foreign Language Film
Baria
Broken Embraces
The Maid
A Prophet
The White Ribbon

Entertainment Weekly says it's going to be either "The White Ribbon" or "Broken Embraces."

WILL WIN: "The White Ribbon" took Cannes. I say it'll take this.

TELEVISION

Best Television Series, Drama
Big Love (HBO)
Dexter (Showtime)
House (Fox)
Mad Men (AMC)
True Blood (HBO)

No, no, no to "True Blood," "House," and "Big Love." This is Dexter's, bitch! I still have the last 10 minutes of the season finale replaying in my head. I'm scarred for life.

WILL WIN: "Mad Men"

Best Television Series, Comedy or Musical
30 Rock (NBC)
Entourage (HBO)
Glee (FOX)
Modern Family (ABC)
The Office (NBC)

It's been "30 Rock's" award to lose for years, but "Glee" just might be able to snag this baby once and for all. Though "Modern Family" deserves this more than anything for their fresh, original, and hilarious take on the mockumentary genre through one strange, entangled family.

WILL WIN: "Glee"

Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series, Drama
Simon Baker, The Mentalist
Michael C. Hall, Dexter
Jon Hamm, Mad Men
Hugh Laurie, House
Bill Paxton, Big Love

I'll tell you who should win this: Bill Paxton for "Big Love" or Michael C. Hall for "Dexter."

WILL WIN: Hugh Laurie

Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series, Drama
Glenn Close, Damages
January Jones, Mad Men
Julianna Margulies, The Good Wife
Anna Paquin, True Blood
Kyra Sedgwick, The Closer

I always feel like I've been smacked in the face when Glenn Close is on-screen. She's so damn in your face. But I sense January Jones may steal this. Shocker/upset would go to Julianna Margulies.

WILL WIN: January Jones

Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series, Comedy or Musical
Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock
Steve Carell, The Office
David Duchovny, Californication
Thomas Jane, Hung
Matthew Morrison, Glee

Ah, the bane of my entertainment existence. Tis Alec Baldwin! Thy shall cry to the heavens if he shall win! Does anyone care that I want to join a glee club because of Matthew Morrison and nothing has made me long to be a receptionist more than Steve Carell's Michael Scott? That means something, right? No?

WILL WIN: Alec Baldwin

Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series, Comedy or Musical
Toni Collette, United States of Tara
Courteney Cox, Cougar Town
Edie Falco, Nurse Jackie
Tina Fey, 30 Rock
Lea Michele, Glee

Cox overacts on "Cougar Town" and Tina Fey barely acts on "30 Rock." I'd like to see Edie Falco get this for "Nurse Jackie," but Lea Michele, the breakout Broadway songstress from "Glee," is the only one who can rightfully steal this from Fey.

WILL WIN: Tina Fey or Lea Michele.

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made For Television
Michael Emerson, Lost
Neil Patrick Harris, How I Met Your Mother
William Hurt, Damages
John Lithgow, Dexter
Jeremy Piven, Entourage

If you saw the 100th episode of "How I Met Your Mother" (FOR SHAME if you haven't, we saw the mother's ankle!), you'll know exactly why NPH should win. Singer, dancer, actor, he is the epitome of the ultimate triple threat. A womanizing, whorish, suit-wearing man was never so desirable to me until NPH showed me the error of my ways. Nothing suits him like a suit...and a Golden Globe. I wouldn't be displeased if Emerson or Lithgow walked away with this either. Both have done noteworthy work on "Lost" and "Dexter" (best season ever), respectively. Just no more Piven, please. Even if Ari is my bitch.

WILL WIN: John Lithgow

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made For Television
Jane Adams, Hung
Rose Byrne, Damages
Jane Lynch, Glee
Janet McTeer, Into the Storm
Chloe Sevigny, Big Love

I don't know when Chloe Sevigny will finally get recognition for her work on HBO's "Big Love," but it won't be Sunday night. Same goes for the lovely Rose Byrne. But I'm not too upset with Jane Lynch stealing the spotlight for her hilariously vapid portrayal of Sue Sylvester on Fox's breakout hit "Glee." I've never wanted to be insulted so badly until I heard the fireball insults out of her ballsy, hot mouth. Yeah, I said it.

WILL WIN: Jane Lynch

Post your picks in the comments below!